And for He who I love most

Why is it that God is my #1 in everything, yet I completely shun him when the rubber meets the road? And why is God so hard to talk about? Or belief or anything along those lines? I'm not embrassaed, but it's not an easy topic to just happily come up...you know what I mean? Then I see something like all the stars in the sky, or a new baby that's born, and I think "why can't I bring myself to tell people about the love of my life?" That's the question that always seems to stump me. To show Christianity in school...I believe it's Psalm 107...I just came across a part of it the other day that really got me "Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out!" Wow, powerful words right there. I don't wanna be ashamed infront of God that I haven't been the "good and faithful servant" I know I should be. It's frusterating! I can be such a robot of the world. Completely conform. Just like every other lost person out there. Aren't those who believe in a higher power, the Almighty God supposed to act it? To talk about it? Why can't we? Why can't I?