Something Stupid

I hate making people mad. It's so hard when someones mad at me. I honestly have this feeling in the pit of my stomach until we make up. I just feel like crap. Especially when it's someone I love. And a big reason I'm always making people angry is because I'm the one who usually has to say no to things. I'm always saying no. Lately I'm not taking many risks, and I'm just staying where I know it's safe, and that hurts other people too, cuz they don't understand my thinking. And for someone to understand my thinking they'd have to be me. What do I do? And then I'll say something stupid without thinking. And hurt their feelings, they'll feel disrespected and ticked off and then I beat myself up over it. It always seems to be like that. I hate it!!! I am done with hurting people. I'm done with putting walls up between relationships. It's so hard! And I'm so disapointed in myself most times. The word "sorry" comes of out my mouth so much lately. Like right now, heavy chested because I said something stupid to someone without thinking. Stupid Ashton. Welcome to my silly life.